Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Twelve

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

“You can’t talk yourself out of a problem that you have behaved yourself into.” Steven M.R. Covey

“Pardon  me… I’m so sorry… Excuse me… Pardon  me…” As I work my way through the crowd, I mutter these words, just as I was taught. I rarely wait for the words of forgiveness from those I have bumped into; I just keep moving forward. 

How many times have I asked for forgiveness? How many times have I redeemed my “Get Out of Jail Free” card? Did I acknowledge the forgiveness that was granted me? Did I acknowledge the value of redemption? Usually not – I just assumed that I am forgiven my little transgression.

And then there are those times when the pardon doesn’t come so easily. I didn’t listen effectively and missed an important tidbit of information, prompting the other person to complain about my inattentiveness. I say, “I’m sorry” and try to explain, but the anger persists. It is choice time: I could engage in an argument and let it escalate. I could repeat the couple of words that I did hear, and ask for her to complete her thought. I could ask for forgiveness again, repeating and re-repeating, “I’m sorry.” I could just let it go and later resume civil conversation. I could slide into a sullen, poor-me, big blue funk. I usually ask for her to repeat what she said, taking the blame for my absent-mindedness and trusting that both of us will be graced with words of wisdom, discernment, and forgiveness.

Pick your battles, they say, and choose those that are worthy to be fought. Then ask for pardon – redeem the card.

 

Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Eleven

 For it is in giving that we receive

Give, and you will receive. You will be given much, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. It will spill into your lap. The way you give to others is the way God will give to you.

Luke 6:38

There’s a country song that asks the question, “What if he’s an angel sent here from heaven?” He is the nameless, faceless man at the corner with a sign, “Anything will help”. She is the hunched-over woman pushing a shopping basket that contains all of her earthly belongings. He is the young man selling bracelets made of dime-store pony beads. You smile and say, “No, not today.” Or you walk by as if no one is there. You may even cross the street for fear he may harm you. You may assume he or she would just go out and buy a bottle of cheap beer. You silently say, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

Yes, God graces me every day. He graces me with a roof over my head, food on my table, and a sweater to shield me from the morning chill. Am I any better than the man at the corner? Could my circumstances change such that I find myself without the necessities of life – a serious illness that wipes out my savings, a fire that reduces my home to a pile of ash and cinder-memories, an economic downturn that leaves me without a job? There but for the grace of God go I.

The other day I turned away a panhandler. I’ve seen him before at other places, and he always has the same story. I often give him a handful of change, but today, I didn’t have it. What if he is an angel?

Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Ten

To be loved as to love

Every night, I go to sleep grateful to be loved. Every morning, I wake up grateful to be loved. When I come home, my four wonderful dogs come running to the door, barking and carrying on. “Mommie, Mommie! You’re home! Look everybody, Mommie’s home! You play ball with me, huh? Huh? Huh? Here’s the ball! Look! Look! ” Then they proceed to jump and bark and generally misbehave, knowing they can get away with it just that one time. “I love you, Mommie!” The work day fades into memory, and I am in my loving element.

I come from a family of twelve siblings. I was number ten. I always felt loved, even when I was lost at the dinner table. I was the youngest daughter, my Daddy’s baby doll. I sat next to him on the couch as he read the newspaper, and helped him weed our little garden of strawberries. He taught me to smell the soil for its nutrients, gauge the barometric pressure by the look of the leaves on the apple tree, and appreciate the value of the worms in the rich soil. When he died in 1973, I was living in San Francisco, and I made it home to Santa Fe in time to say goodbye and hold his hand as he took his last breath.

In the same way, I spent important days praying the rosary with my Mother. The day before she died, I cuddled up to her at her hospice bed, knowing that she could hear me singing in her ear, “I’ll be loving you, always. With a love that’s true, always…” In a casket that looked like a jewelry box, she held a special crystal and roses rosary that I made just for her; it is a rosary that I now treasure. I wear her wedding ring, the engagement ring that my Dad gave her in 1932.

As I began my Spark journey, I was guided by the spirits of my mother and father, as well as the loving support of my family. Thanks to my family, then and now, my furry children and their other Mommie, and my special relationship with God, I know how to love and be loved.

Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Nine

To be understood as to understand

Seek first to understand, then to be understood – Steven R. Covey

For me, one of the most difficult of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is Habit Number 5, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” For over 12 years I have tried to practice the 7 Habits, and the biggest challenge has been Habit 5. I think it is because I had trained myself to multi-task: listen to a conversation while I listen to the activities around me, watch television, eat dinner, plan my activities for the next day, and ponder my bank balance. Researchers argue about the number of thoughts a human being has in one day – anywhere from 12,000 to 70,000. Even at the low end, how can one brain process that much? How can I savor the taste of the meal while I am worrying about reaching a work goal tomorrow? How can I appreciate the messages of my dinner partner if I am also watching (and solving) the Wheel of Fortune? More importantly, how loving am I being toward my dinner partner if we are sharing our experiences with Pat Sajac and Vanna White?

So I am learning how to be present at each moment, focusing on one thing at a time. If someone is talking, I try not to be planning my response, or framing the next topic of conversation, or paying attention to the hubbub around me. I learn so much more, give and receive so much more, simply by listening to every word being said to me. Hard to do? You betcha! I miss out on what is going on around me. Of course, there is some multi-tasking that I still do while I am listening to a conversation, such as driving safely while carrying on a conversation with someone in the car.

In my early days of multi-tasking, there were many times when I arrived at work with no memory of the trip. Yes, I had my day planned, or a response to the work issue that was vexing me, but I had also missed the beauty of the sunrise, the smell of early morning, or the sound of soft jazz. It was dangerous, to be sure, but it was also hurtful to my emotional well-being.

One of my Short-term Smart Goals is, “During the day, do and pay attention to one thing at a time.” When I prepare for my day, as I place my St. Michael medal in my pocket, I pray for wisdom and discernment, and in that wisdom and discernment, I pray for focus: to be understood as to understand.