On Father's Day, Men's Health ... and Passion for Family

Last Friday, Tim Russert died. It was a shock - to think that such a young man could die so suddenly, and from such a common malady. In the three days that have passed since he died, I've had time to think -- as so many of you have done. My thoughts collected around two categories: Men's Health and Father's Day.

My father had a heart attack at about the same age as Tim Russert, maybe younger, but he survived it. My brother-in-law Paul did, too. Maggie's father died of heart disease. Yesterday was also Father's Day - it's been almost 35 years since Cristobal Sanchez died in 1973 and 8 years since Byron Smith died, and Father's Day still hurts. But the good news was that we spent a wonderful, sunny, loving day in Rio Rancho celebrating Father's Day with Paul.

Like women, heart disease is the number one cause of death for men. Studies say that men have a 49% risk of developing coronary heart disease after the age of 40; half of men who have a heart attack before age 65 die within 8 years; between 70% and 89% of sudden cardiac events occur in men. All very dry statistics (from the CDC), but when a loved one or a famous person is the statistic, it's real and (pardon the pun) heart-wrenching.

The sad part about all this is how preventable heart disease is, for both men and women. In a large study of blood pressure treatment and control, an average reduction of 12 to 13 mm Hg in systolic blood pressure (the top number) over 4 years of follow-up was associated with a 21% reduction in coronary heart disease, 37% reduction in stroke, and 13% reduction in all-cause death rates; a 10% decrease in total cholesterol levels may reduce the development of coronary heart disease by as much as 30%. More dry statistics. But the reality, however, is that men don't generally believe in prevention - they want their chicharron burritos, their double quarter-pounder with cheese and bacon, their 4-egg breakfast burrito with papas and bacon and cheese, their Taco Bell. They consider a 5,000-calorie meal as a "man size meal", or a reward for a stressful day at work. As women, we join in the feast, so our rates of obesity are soaring, along with our rates of death from heart disease. Visits to family physicians happen after an event has taken place, and then only when someone else makes the appointment. I've been in the business of primary health care for most of the last 25 years - the vast majority of our patients are women, and most of today's appointments are not preventive in nature.

I have four brothers, three brothers-in-law, and a whole slew of adult nephews. One of my passions is caring about my family - I am hereby asking all of my family members, especially the women, to care about the men in our lives. If they haven't had a physical in the last year, encourage them to make the appointment today -- or make the call yourself, if that's what it takes. Encourage exercise and healthy eating. If you do the grocery shopping, buy fresh vegetables and fruits; if you do the cooking and serving, plan time to cook from scratch, and shrink the serving sizes. When you go out to eat, ask for a take-out container before you start eating. Finally, provide opportunities to relieve the stress of the day so our men can relax and sleep well.

Let's observe Father's Day 2009 with our family intact.

Living a passionate life - my mission statement

"The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value." -Stephen R. Covey

From 2002-2004, I had the wonderful priviledge of working with Dr. Alfredo Vigil, now the Secretary of Health for the State of New Mexico, and previously the CEO of Health Centers of Northern New Mexico (now El Centro Family Health). He had been a friend and mentor for many years prior to my little sojourn at Health Centers, and I always admired his skill at managing the many roles he had, professional and personal. When we worked together at Health Centers, he asked each of his Leadership Team members to adopt the Franklin Planner system of time management. The system is a part of Steven Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". As part of adopting the system into my life, I wrote a mission statement. When I left Health Centers to accept my current position at Women's Health Services, I brought the Franklin system with me, and our Leadership Team also adopted the Seven Habits. Each of us wrote our mission statement, or took out our old mission statement and re-committed to it. Since my life had evolved in just the three years since I first went through the exercise, I took the opportunity to examine my "today", and settled on the theme of my life as a journey. Here is my mission statement:

In my Journey through Life, I will:

Travel light - getting rid of excess emotional and physical baggage
Take someone with me - cherishing friendship and family
Take the high road - forgiving quickly
Follow the roadmap - knowing where I am and where I’m going
Stop to ask for directions - seeking credible advice
Appreciate the detours - learning from my mistakes and recognizing that problems are a part of life
Take pictures - creating memories along the way and then stopping every now and then to remember those special times
Go the extra mile - keeping my commitments
Stop to smell the roses - enjoying life in the here and now, and experience every moment of every day.

Living a passionate life - Simple living

About six years ago, I decided to simplify my life. Being a Virgo (September 3), I hate clutter and disorganization. Moreover, I had accepted a job that required a 30-minute commute , so I needed the extra time in the morning.

Clothes maven: My almost 30 years of business living had provided me with a closet full of two and three piece suits, dresses for different occasions, a rainbow of blouses, a drawer full of panty hose, at least eight pairs of dress and casual shoes, a jewelry box full of earrings and pins and watches - and that was just for work. I also had my weekend attire of jeans, shorts, and warm-ups, t-shirts, polo shirts, and running shoes. Of course, all of this (business and casual) was in fat and thin sizes, depending on my pre- or post-diet status.

Collections: For the last 20 years I had collected things: over 100 snow globes that now filled a complete glass display case, over 150 mugs that stretched across the buffet shelf in the dining room, books of various genres that filled three bookcases in the den and two bookcases in the home office. Those collections joined Maggie's collections of troll dolls, video games, guitars, and other hobbies.

How could I make my life more simple and uncluttered? Like my penchant for organization, the process of simplification also had to be simple and orderly and efficient.

I read a couple of books and magazine articles, taking the best ideas from what I read. I did alot of soul-searching: Could I part with the "things" that each meant something important at the time of their acquisition? Did I care what others thought about how I looked? Was it important for me to wear a business "uniform" to be successful - the old "dress for success" standard? Was there enough value (either monetary or sentimental) in these things, such that they actually defined me, and would diminish my own value if they were no longer a part of my life? Almost every day brought me an epiphany on these questions. The result was a transformation that is still in process, but has made a phenomenal difference in my body, mind, spirit, and emotion.

Clothing: Men (at least the majority of "common", non-GQ men living here in the Southwest) have it best: they have one pair of dress shoes, maybe two; one dress suit, maybe two, that they wear for special occasions only; shirts that double as dress shirts and work shirts; polo shirts; and limited accessories. If they could get away with wearing the same t-shirt every evening after work for a week and through the weekend, they would. They don't want to have to match socks and shirts. I liked that - I liked that very much. So I decided on a basic wardrobe that would fill one small rack each season, and from which I could select my clothes to wear without thinking:

• pants only (no skirts and therefore no panty hose);
• my pants would have to match a limited number of tops (blouses and plain tops), so I settled on two pairs of black trousers and one pair of simple plaid light-wool trousers;
• four or five tops/blouses per season, in a rotation, with three or four sweater sets for the winter and three or four polo shirts for the summer;
• black trouser socks - I could grab a pair from the sock drawer and they would automatically match whatever I was wearing for the day;
• three pairs of shoes: one pair of black walking shoes for work and special occasions, one pair of white walking shoes for the evening and weekend, and one pair of slippers;
• no jewelry except my watch - in the last year I began wearing my own beaded earrings, since I sell them, and Maggie gave me some special earrings - but I have kept those to a few pairs in one small display.

So simple! I love it! I packed up my suits and dresses and shoes and jewelry and took them to the thrift shop - that year's charitable donation was phenomenal!

Things: The collections are still on display, but I have not added to them. Sometimes a friend will give me a snow globe for Christmas, but for the most part, the snow globe and mug collections have not grown. Now when I am asked what I want for my birthday, I ask for experiences that will result in memories that I will keep forever - a special dinner or lunch, a special concert, a day-trip or picnic. following the tips in the simplification books, I boxed up my books and other things and put them in unmarked boxes in the garage. After a year, since I hadn't needed anything in them, the boxes went to Goodwill.

I am grateful for the simple life I live now: for the people who love me and want my company for who I am, not for what I wear or how I look; for the limited but meaningful things I possess; for the memories embedded in my everyday experiences; for the job that allows me to make a difference in my community, without requiring me to wear a corporate uniform. Such is my new simple but passionate life.

Joining the world of blogging

So here I am, joining the world of the bloggers. It's not that I have a whole to say, or even that a whole lot happens in my life. I'll get a call from a sister ,"How's it going? What's going on?" and my response is often the same, "Same old, same old -- work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, and before I know it, another month is gone." But like most folks, that's not always true. There are triumphs and challenges, aches and pains, interesting people that travel through, new family members, family and work intrigues, and the events of the world around us.

I am passionate about a few things, and I do have a few opinions. So here we go...