Thursday, October 23, 2014

Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Four



Where there is doubt, faith
 “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” Hebrews 10:35

Joel Osteen once said, “You may have to go through a thousand no’s to get to that one yes. The key is, keep dreaming. Keep hoping. Keep taking steps of faith.”

It can be so hard to have to wait for a yes to come. When I wanted a new job, I kept sending out resumes, answering want ads, going for interviews. I began to doubt my worth and ability. Can’t they see how doggone good I am?

When I started my SparkPeople journey, it seemed I was starving myself, and the scale would barely move. People were posting these success stories and there I was – one stinkin’ pound lost. What difference would it make if I stopped at McDonald’s on my way to work? I doubted that it would matter.

When I started my fitness regimen, I could barely walk fifteen minutes at 2 mph without huffing and puffing and sweating, while the thin young thing in the hot pink Nike exercise outfit was effortlessly running on the treadmill next to me. It seemed pointless, and I began to doubt if I could ever be thin again after 30 years of eating and stressing myself into obesity.

Wait for it... Wait for it… Could I wait for it? Did I have enough faith and confidence in myself to reach a goal of 65 pounds weight loss AND a satisfying new job? Every time I began to have doubts, I “received” a message of hope and confidence. The scale would show two pounds loss. I would visit my rheumatologist and he would congratulate me on the terrific blood work. A co-worker would send me an email saying, “You look fabulous!”  Finally, I had to admit that the Spark had worked – I had to buy another two pairs of jeans that were six sizes smaller than when I began 15 months ago, and I added my old big jeans to the growing Goodwill pile.

Then I got a phone call from one of my customers asking if I would consider the writer-editor job he had available. Are you kidding me – of course! Hello confidence, hello future.

Yes! The Yes had come.

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