Saturday, November 8, 2014

Reflections on the Prayer of St. Francis - Day Ten



To be loved as to love

Every night, I go to sleep grateful to be loved. Every morning, I wake up grateful to be loved. When I come home, my four wonderful dogs come running to the door, barking and carrying on. “Mommie, Mommie! You’re home! Look everybody, Mommie’s home! You play ball with me, huh? Huh? Huh? Here’s the ball! Look! Look! ” Then they proceed to jump and bark and generally misbehave, knowing they can get away with it just that one time. “I love you, Mommie!” The work day fades into memory, and I am in my loving element.

I come from a family of twelve siblings. I was number ten. I always felt loved, even when I was lost at the dinner table. I was the youngest daughter, my Daddy’s baby doll. I sat next to him on the couch as he read the newspaper, and helped him weed our little garden of strawberries. He taught me to smell the soil for its nutrients, gauge the barometric pressure by the look of the leaves on the apple tree, and appreciate the value of the worms in the rich soil. When he died in 1973, I was living in San Francisco, and I made it home to Santa Fe in time to say goodbye and hold his hand as he took his last breath.

In the same way, I spent important days praying the rosary with my Mother. The day before she died, I cuddled up to her at her hospice bed, knowing that she could hear me singing in her ear, “I’ll be loving you, always. With a love that’s true, always…” In a casket that looked like a jewelry box, she held a special crystal and roses rosary that I made just for her; it is a rosary that I now treasure. I wear her wedding ring, the engagement ring that my Dad gave her in 1932.

As I began my Spark journey, I was guided by the spirits of my mother and father, as well as the loving support of my family. Thanks to my family, then and now, my furry children and their other Mommie, and my special relationship with God, I know how to love and be loved.

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